Sepi? La Tahzan..

Ku pernah menyendiri

Di sini ku akan terasa sepi

Walaupun bibir penuh gelak tawa

Namun hatiku sepi

Mengapa sepi? Kerana hati ini lalai dr mengingati-Nya.. Lalai dgn kehidupan dunia.. Hati ini semakin jauh dr-Nya.. Hati ini semakin kurang mencuba utk mendekati-Nya.. Ssungguhnya hati ini amat rapuh, amat mudah diceroboh. Terlalu leka dgn kesibukan dunia, hati ini semakin jauh berpaling.. Bilakah hati ini akan sedar? Hati ini perlu keluar dr kesepian ini, kesepian dr hidayah-Mu Ya Allah..

"Ya Allah, tuangkan dalam jiwa yang bergolak ini kedamaian dan anugerahkanlah kemenangan yang nyata. Tunjukkanlah pandangan yang kebingungan ini kepada cahaya-Mu. Bimbinglah sesatnya perjalanan ini ke arah jalan-Mu yang lurus dan tuntunlah orang-orang yang menyimpang dari jalan-Mu merapat ke hidayah-Mu. Hilangkan dari kami rasa sedih dan duka serta usirlah kegundahan dari jiwa kami semua. Kami berlindung kepada-Mu dari setiap rasa takut yang mendera. Hanya kepada-Mu kami bersandar dan bertawakkal. Hanya kepada-Mu kami memohon dan hanya dari-Mu lah semua pertolongan. Cukuplah Engkau sebagai pelindung kami kerana Engkaulah sebaik-baik Pelindung dan Penolong." -dpetik drpd buku 'La Tahzan' karya Dr. 'Aidh al-Qarni.. Buku yg amat mantap,byk bg pengisian kpd hati ini..^^

~smoge kedatangan Ramadhan yg ku tnggu2 ini mbawa ketenangan kpd hati ini~

Geramnyeee....!

salaam..

jz got back from my silat cekak kelas..lewat kan?huhu..kelas yg memenatkan,penuh dgn pergerakan2 yg hyperaktif mengakibatkn badan ini terase amatla aktif smpi skang nk tdo pn agak impossible..hehe..so nk stdy chem sket sat g,esk ad lab..tiap kli lab chem msti cuak r,doing d experiments are fine i guess but completing d report is such a big deal..plus d questions are so complicated n sumtymes we [me n my lab partner, amirul] didnt even understand d real theory behind those exps..waa,kantoi~

act kan tgh geram geram geram ni..hehe..td mse silat abg halim [penyelia kelas silat cekak utp] tegor aten "fatin dh makin tembam skang ni ye.." in front of d class..mak oi,malunye..eh,ye ke aten dh tembam ni..huwaaa~ tak suke! hihi..then mse kitorg kumpul rmai2 afta abes kelas silat,tyme abg halim tgh bg ucapan sblm abes kelas,abg khairi [tenaga pengajar, senior 1st year 2nd sem] tgk ke arah aten..dye senyum sinis then berpaling ke arah abg ariff ezwan [tenaga pengajar, bru je grad] then abg ariff gelak sambil tgk kt aten jugak..ape kes??! da agk dh ni msti diorg tau gk sal abg halim tegor aten tembam tu...ish3,geram nye!nakal tol la abg2 silat cekak ni,tembak karang bru tau..then b4 aten balek,abg ariff ckp "xpe fatin,pose ni kite ssme berusaha slimkn badan ye.." haha..i answered "okeh,kite same2 ye?" ye la,abg ariff pn big size jugak..tp aten ni rsenye kecik je..perlu ke turunkn berat bdn?sengal tol la~ then abg jep menyampuk dgn mencabar aten spy turun 5kg..what?malas nk layan kemengarutan y melampau itu..wakaka~ kuar dr kelas je abg azuwan [tenaga pengajar,postgraduate] ajak spe2 nk p mkn kt luar..sekaligus memandang ke arahku & bertye "jom,nk ikot x kuar mkn?" then aten kte, "tanak ah,td dh kne tegor...." kateku dgn muke sedihnye..abg azuwan gelak n kte "laa..abg halim gurau je tu..ape la fatin ni,ish3..tp kan bkn makin tembam la..mmg dh tembam pon,haha" [jahatnye abg azuwan,huahua..]tetibe je abg ariff muncul out of nowhere n kate "xpe2,kitorg dh buat deal nk slimkn bdn pose ni"..i jz answered "ye,ye..btol tu.." maka bergelak ketawalah senior2 ku yg nakal itu..aiseh...ape nk jadi la...

sesungguhnye..setau aten..my weight is jz fine la..haha..tembam?bkn sepatutnye cute ke?not sumthing dat is changeable..karut lagi mengarut,hehe..bubbye!

Lalala~ [tatau nk tlis title pe =P]

salaam..

12:14:50am~
i was sleeping, my room is still bright as d light is still on..its quite noisy,some frens drop by n chatted with my rummate..i jz lie in my bed,feeling very tired..bru balek silat la..tetibe,my phone rings..alamak,nk jwb ke ni?kpale tgh mamai,mcm xlarat nk ckp..looking at d name of d caller,aih xkn tanak jwb kot?so..dgn tgn yg berat,i answer it =)

d conversation goes fine i guess..glad 2 hear frm him again actually..but then i guess i was mumbling most of d tyme..haha,nk ckp pn xlarat plus ngantuk..ape bnde yg aten ckp ntah..ish3,ntah2 caller 2 xphm pn aten ckp pe =P

then,mayb cz of d radio wave of d phone i bcame wide awake till now..its alredi 1.10am..k la,stdy la kot..esk quiz e.math..derivatives derivatives..hope dis tyme i'll do better,last quiz dh kantoi..lalai sgt,bkn xreti buat..sengal nye la~ thx 2 d caller,if not bcz of u i might not b awake n x stdy la jwbnyer..

btw,afta silat td cdg nk pose sunat esk [i mean arini la kot]..isnin kan,last week sya'ban dh ni..tp xde mknn nk bt sahur,kafe sume da ttup..then,td kierah n hani frm gerai silat bw mknn lebih frm convofair n jual kt village kitorg..dqeen pn ad kasi soto..alhamdulillah,kalo kite dh niat bnde baek ni msti Allah akan tlg kan..^^

++sayang korg sume lah++

nway,td afta meeting Majlis Tertinggi & Majlis Eksekutif LDP smpat borak2 jap dgn Kak Abby mas'ulah LDP..dye ckp sal abg syakir..lbeh kurg cmni r hiwar kitorg mse tu :

K.Abby : fatin knl x abg syakir?
aten : aa,spe? [muke blurr]
K.Abby : laa..budok sheikh jugok..
aten : oo,yg tu ke..knal2..eh,dye da kawen ke kak?
K.Abby : ye la,jmpe kat convo fair aritu jln x lepas tgn isteri dye..
aten : oo,ye ke..haha [xpe la,diorg da kawen kan..kateku dlm hati =P] eh kak,sy jmpe Kak Syahad [ex-SHAMS gk ni] dgn suami dye gk aritu kt convofair..hehe..xdelah pegang tgn pon diorg tu..
K.Abby : herm..tu la che fatin,senior awk rmai dh yg kawen awl tu..abg luqman [mas'ul LDP merangkap ex-KP SHAMS] tu pn nk kawen gk tu ow.. [akak ni gurau ke btol2??]
aten : haha..ye doh tu kot kak..abg syahmi [ex-SHAMS,presiden MPPUTP] nk kawen gok kot..[aten ngarut je ni ea,tah pape =P]
K.Abby : haa..doh che fatin awk bile pulok?
aten : erk.. [tersenyum kambing aten disitu,nakal btol la akak ni..]

aiseh..kawen awl?rummate pn pnh kate gk "che fatin kn skolah agame kn,bdk skolah agame kn slalu kawen awl..che fatin kekg mesti kawen awl gk op..kalu xdop calon gunelah baitul muslim,hehe". adeh adeh..pe kes lately org ckp sal kawen ni?dh la korg mcm doa suh aten kawen awl..tah pape btol la..foundation x abes lg,bab kawen2 ni x pk lg r..waaa..korg ni nakal btol la..isk isk isk..k r,melalut btol post kli ni..haha..wassalam~

♥Cinta Ini Membunuhku by D'Masiv♥

Kau membuat ku berantakan
Kau membuat ku tak karuan
Kau membuat ku tak berdaya
Kau menolakku acuhkan diriku

Bagaimana caranya untuk
Meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
Ku sadari ku tak sempurna
Ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan

Kau hancurkan aku dengan sikapmu
Tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
Lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
Cinta ini membunuhku

Bagaimana caranya untuk
Meruntuhkan kerasnya hatimu
Ku sadari ku tak sempurna
Ku tak seperti yang kau inginkan

Kau hancurkan aku dengan sikapmu
Tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
Lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
Cinta ini membunuhku
(2x)

Lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
Cinta ini membunuhku..

~dis song was recommended by aiman [she's a gurl ok,not a boy] dis morning around 1AM n yes,its nice..i like it~

He's gone..4ever T_T

salaam..

let's recap all d things dat happen yesterday..

pagi kol 9 ad physics lab,sumenye gne computer interface n not very complicated..although our lab demo lewat sejam msuk lab [lewat bgn tdo ke abg demo tuh?] tp ok la cz exp tu jap je nk siap..during our presentation of d exp pn puas hti cz leh jwb sume soaln y abg tu kasi..got back our mark 4 d previous exp report,tnggi gk..dpt 48.8 out of 50..haha,walopn men buat je report previous exp..thx so much pd sspe yg kasi markh stinggi itu,will b vry helping in our pointer nti =)

enough of lab,then klas chem followed by icis..kls icis x blaja pn,ms penny kasi game yg xd kaetan lasum dgn icis,best la jugak..hee~ then lecture abes ad lab lak ptg tu kol 3-5,blaja ms excel..learned a lot of new things since im not vry familiar with excel [last gne bnde alah ni mse primary sk dlu,haha]..b4 g lab abg luqman msg suh bt report utk roadshow RM..oh no..aten lasum x pegi jenguk booth roadshow LDP,cane nk bt report ni?satu ape pn tatau..im 2 busy on dat tyme utk menapak ke pocket D..really sorry 4 dat..dh la abq luqman nk siap b4 maghrib..mne smpt,lab abes pn dh lewat ptg..assignment physics xsiap sg,tutorial emath x bt lg..i surrender n apologize 2 him while askin 4 more tyme 2 cmplete d report..moreover,i need 2 gather d infos frm others y g roadshow tu so dat my report nti bkn la rekaan semata-mata..but abg luqman xreply my msg..hurm~

dis is d hard part..while finishing my phy assignment..my mobile rang,i knew rite away dat it was my mom frm d 'My Mother' ringtone..picked it up..1st she said dat she n d rest of our famly is now in Kuala Terengganu..weird,they supposed 2 b at KL..i asked why they went back home so early?she said..my granpda suda kembali ke rahmatullah bbpe hri yg lepas..she wanted 2 tell me earlier but my dad told her to hold on 1st..at 1st i jz cnt register properly what she just told me n suddenly some tears dropped onto my cheek..cnt believe it,i wont b able to see aki [what i col my grandpa] nemore..but i bcme calm rite away jz listenin 2 my mom's calm voice,as i also dont want her 2 noe dat im crying..Al-Fatihah kpd roh aki,smoge rohnye dicucuri rahmat n ditempatkn bsme-sme org yg soleh..amiin~ last jpe aki mse cti sem bru ni..act,i olredi cn predict dis..aki kne strok dr last year ag,aki dh lumpuh..xleh ckp,pgerakan terbatas..but aki still knl kitorg kalo kitorg lawat dye..Ya Allah,mcm xleh cye aten xkn jpe dye lg..Oh God, grant me wit ur strength..

erm,then kol 8 p tutor..sgt2 xde mood act n i dnt talk much dat nyte..afta tutor abg fariz dtg kasi my lesen P..alhamdulillah,i can really drive now =) then on ym..but line tenet mengong giler..ym jd stuck..fed up tol,so bia je la cmtu..then sumone IM me an said dat i've changed now..what??sungguh terase dgn kate2 itu,teruk sgt kah diri ini smpi dihukum dgn kate2 sebegitu..usually i dnt reli care what others say bout me but dis person..dis person is sumone vry close 2 me..act aten trse sbb msti ad sbb yg kuat smpi dye leh kate aten da berubah skang..smbil meletakkan ikon muke sedih,dye trus offline..what??terpinga-pinga sbntr dtingglkn begitu sje..terasa bersalah yg amat sbb mayb aten terlalu mengabaikan dye spnjg my 2nd sem ni,smpi dye kte aten berubah..2nd sem ni sgt bz,honestly xde peluang mne nk contact org2 jauh..i need 2 fix dis,so i col dat person..lame br panggilanku terjawab tp apsal suare len ni?

aten:hello,assalamualaikum..
someone:hello,waalaikumsalam..
aten:err,tgh wtpe? [dlm hti wondering,apsal suare bunyi len?]
someone:eh,ni bukan *******..ni kwn dye..
aten:[interrupting suddenly]oh ye ke,sory2..[terus hang-up]

wah,pe kes kwn yg angkat ni?dh la td tetibe je trus offline..ok fine,xpe la ikut suke la..then..dye online balek..aih,pe y tjadi ni..aten pn IM dye balek n try 2 talk things over but all dat d person reply is.."xpe la...xde pape.." npknye dh smakin sulit utk communicate wit each other nowadays..dye x respond sgt pon kalo nk ckp pape,then what am i supposed 2 do?diri ini yg dikate sbg berubah?sedangkan kalo chat pon dye mcm xnk respond mne..balas juz 'yes' 'no' 'xde pape'..ok fine..walo pn aten xphm pe sbnrnye situasi i jz apologize 2 dat person..erm,enuff said..aten xberubah..mayb jarak yg jauh n tyme constraint utk contact each other bt kite rse sumone tu npk laen..4 me,still the same..i am,we are..i hope you to =)

ptg ni test chem,nk stdy..sume happenin smlm btol2 menampar hatiku [ayat ape ni?] xsabo tnggu jumaat nxt wk..nak balek..d only real support i cn find is frm my famly..n plus bbpe org shbt lame yg mayb ad kt ganu nxt wk..rindu amat sgt kt kwn2 lame,shbt2 seperjuangan d SHAMS..u guyz cant b replaced tau x?tau x?hehe..pape yg jd smlm aten xgtau kt mne2 kwn kt utp pn xcept those yg bertye sal arwah aki..slalunye kalo ad pape tym skul dlu msti cpt2 citer kt kwn2..huhu,tp kt utp ni i need more tym 2 reli feel comfortble n rely with all frenz..sory,i'm such an insecure person..i only trust those who i've really known for years =) dihatiku masih terpahat shbt2 lame,namun tetap ku cuba bukakn ruang utk kehadiran teman2 baru..^_^

Alhamdulillah! So Much Grateful..

Salaam..

• got d bus ticket to go home on 29th of august
• got a fren to tag along during my journey home, meaning i wont b travelling alone with only strangers on d bus
• i passed my parking test at last, meaning got my P license
• some classes are cancelled 4 nxt week which are chemistry n e.math, meaning i'll hve ample tyme 2 stdy 4 my test
• oh n not forgetting dat d test is only objective Q's, another blessing
• managed 2 finish d design of certs 4 Semaian Bakti 2 committees n facis
• majlis kesyukuran d rumah pak cik syed, meaning free food + enjoying tyme with other driving school students ^_^

but... ryte now im so tired n reali2 hope dat tonite's tutorial will b cancelled..nevertheless,mayb dats 2 much 2 ask..huhu..ok la,aten..kuatkan smgt..push urself 2 da limit..although what i want is to sleep zzZZZzzzZZZ~~~

Feel Better ^_^

salaam..

skang kol 1.40am,hehe..awat x tdo lg?x rse ngantuk r,n nk siapkn flow chart n chemical assesment 4 chem lab rabu ni..esk kls smpi mlm,afta dat ad silat lak smpi 11.30pm..rsenye mmg x terbuat dh esk kot so baek siapkn awl2..erm,act td da tdo..td temperature rising n head is spinnin so tdo je la..rummate kasi panadol,afta mkn rse mcm dh ok la plak..hehe..alhamdulillah,im feelin better now..dis wk is a bz wk..

• selasa : kls smpi mlm + silat smpi 11.30pm
• rabu : nk p Taman Maju survey tiket bas utk merdeka nti
• khamis : retest JPJ parking yg aten TERkandas aritu,wakaka =P
• jumaat : interview MEDTECH (x sure ag n p ke x,mcm la dri ku ini x ckup bz dgn jwtn yg telah sedia ad)
• sabtu : semaian bakti 2 (gotong-royong n berbakti dgn pduduk kampung)
• ahad : abg fariz my best eva driving teacher jmput p mkn2 kt umah dye smpena Ramadhan (awl nye..yes!mkn free,hehe) + mlm ad silat~

wow,ok ok..jd dak U ni xleh duk dpn buku n stdy je..ni la msenye utk reach out n gain xperience n also learn more about d real lyfe..kn kn?apart frm those listed above agaknye akan ad x keje as s/u Lajnah Dakwah & Perhubungan yg akan muncul tetibe ek?mtk2 xde la..penat dowh menaip sepanjang minggu..btw,21st august ni test 1 Chemistry..kne stdy!so i hope i manage to find ample time 2 prepare 4 dat test..bz bz gk,pelajaran ttp priority =)

dh ni ble nk tdo?rummate da lme melayari alam mmpinye..hehe..aten je mengetuk-ngetuk keyboard lg..haha..afta i revise a bit of my lesson then i'll go 2 sleep..okaii,bubbye~

Merdeka.. Pulangkah Kami?

Salaam..

As i said in my previous post merdeka ni nk balek!!! tp rummate ckp tiket dh kritikal skang ni..OMG! ye ke ni? bkn still awl lg ke?aiya..rummate tgh sdeh la tu,mirah nk balek ssgt..erm,me?sdeh gk kalo btol la dh mmg xde tiket tp hati ini msih blum bhenti bharap..who knows there might be light at d end of d tunnel?kalo dh rezki x kemane..itulah peganganku,ngeh3~ td maziah ckp nk kasi num kaunter tiket bas kt tmn maju..herm,so juz wait n c..akan ku call utk kepastian..Ya Allah,aku mohon Kau permudahkan segala urusanku..aku sgt sgt mahu pulang,kangen bangat sama ummi..sob3..

btw,post mortem KPO da siap..alhamdulillah..2 pages of post mortem dpt aten siapkn b4 my class starts 2day..hehe..laju gk aten menaip eh..da mmg sebati dgn keje2 s/u..blogging ni pn post msti pjg2..haha,dh mmg ske ketuk2 keyboard nk wt cane~ well,my selsema x baek gk arini npknye..tdo smlm amatlah seksa..hukhuk..smoge diri ini kuat mhadapi virus y paling aten xtahan ni..selsema..selsema.. =( erm,kol 11 nti kls physics..bru ni blaja sal capacitance n dielectric..ble revise blek bru tau yg dri ini xphm mne ape yg Dr Manzoor bebelkn dlm lecture..aiyark..kne pulun txt book yg tebal tu la npknye..herm~

npk tuh?Foundation Physics..tebal siot kan?hehe..calculus pn tebal gk tp 4 maths ok la sbb bkn ade xplenation pjg2 pon..juz numbers..kalo physics n chem, mak aihh..ayat2 nyer mencengkam jiwa..hehe..tp chem xpe,i like i like..physics? huhu..i'll try to love it with all my heart insyaAllah..

Sick n Miss Her Badly~

Salaam..

Mak aih,lme siot x update blog ni..huhu,mood da xde..kemalasan satu hal..arini update sbb tgh homesik la..act dis sem xde rs homesik sgt pn tp dsbbkn skang ni aten tgh x sihat so suddenly i rmmbr mse dlu2 kalo duk kt umah ummi la yg slalu take care of me mse saket..huk3..td bgn tdo my head is hurting lyke hell~ nk nanges rse..nk panggel ummi tp of cz she cant b with me nemore..huwaaa..sob3~ selsema pn lum reda ag ni..d sudut atiku ad satu perasaan jahat yg menyalahkn rummate sbb bw virus ni..huh! astaga,x baek tol aten ni..mcm x redha dgn ktentuan Allah je..ampunkan daku Ya Allah.. T.T

Erm..rsenye merdeka thn ni la yg paling aten tngu2..why? bkn sbb diri ini patriotik sgt tp merdeka nti kn cuti ari isnin 1 september so no matter what i wanna go home! siot sgt la nk tnggu cuti raye 27 sept nti,lme sgt dowh~

btw, keje s/u Lajnah Dakwah & Perhubungan (LDP) da beres cumenye keje s/u Kursus Pengurusan Organisasi (KPO) je ad x siap ag..my last task as s/u KPO dat is wat laporan post mortem..ish3,duk utp pn jd s/u lg..haha..xpe la,i will need d skill later in my working lyfe i suppose..so for now,ganbatte! mlm ni ad silat n mlm ni jgk ad meetin LDP..wah,mne satu nk p ni? silat last class dh x turun sbb x sihat jgk,kaki kne stung by waps! mlm ni pn xtau la leh wat x buah2 jatuh yg mencabar kmampuan fizikal ku ini..tgh pening2 ni,adoi~ cane ni..cane ni..

wey,nxt wk test chem..stdy lom ni?wakaka..quiz emath n icis aritu ok la although cam rse ad wt salah je 1 soalan emath..kuang3..redha je la~ ok daa~